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5 things you should know before dating someone who’s still in the closet

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While hookups are quite common, dating in the LGBTQIA+ community is rare. When two individuals choose to get exclusive, there are quite some challenges which can come in between based on the fact that all relationships are different. Here’s a few things you should be mentally prepared of before dating someone who is still in the closet.

Don’t compare it with heterosexual relationships

This tip stays common in all queer relationships as when you start dating someone it’s important that we do not compare it with the heterosexual relationships we see around us. As while they have their own set of challenges considering all the things that are considered taboo in our society inclusive of ‘Dating’ itself, but there the benefits and challenges are completely different, hence it is advised not to compare it with that.

There might be a lot of challenges in the initial stage as to who pays, who take charge etc and it’s wrong to assume that the top is the male and bottom is the female in the relationship because at the end of the day, in most queer relationships both are from the same gender, hence it is important to respect that and one thing that will help you do so, is communicating with your partner at all times.

Don’t force them out of the closet instead try and reason with them

When it comes to dating a closeted person, there are many a times you may feel that they are just being scared. But they understand their people and really better so as a partner, you will have to be supportive of that and let them open up about themselves at their own pace. I know it will be difficult if you to understand but that’s what you have subscribed to by dating them hence you have to respect their decision to wait.

Be ready to be addressed as a friend or best friend

While you may be very close and boyfriends, be ready to be introduced as a friend in front of family, friends and colleagues at all times. This might seem like not a big deal initially but as the relationship keeps growing, this might start feeling offensive that while you have been lovers yet been addressed as just friends and in some cases even cousin. Being mentally prepared can surely help in handling the situation better.

There might be no PDA unless you are at a foreign destination

In a relationship, as you keep getting closer you may want to become more intimate and expressive and that would lead to you feeling like holding your partners hand or sometimes even kissing them when out. While this would seem normal to you, he might not be comfortable with that considering that people they know might be watching. There could be time when this could annoy you hence it is important to be mentally prepared.

You may need to be their mental support often

While you date a person who is in the closet, they are still facing a lot of mental battle including the thought that they are not giving you 100 percent of themselves. Hence they might need your emotional support more to make them feel safe and comfortable. You may have to be patient and supportive more than normal while they are battling with their thoughts towards accepting themselves and sharing it with their near and dear ones.


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